Rough Day

It was just the other day when I was so grateful for getting to spend more time with the women of my life. Today I felt sad. We went to Triple Play in Hayden because Lukas wanted to take his sister. I knew going into today that it was the last day and I didn’t want to face it. After putting on my happy face all week, today I was bursting at the seams with emotion and tears. There were several times I had to fight the emotion back so I wouldn’t break down in front of anyone. It felt good to be able to talk and laugh with them this week, but at the same time it felt too good to be true. The proof of that is that they are leaving at first light. There is also proof that I still care about my marriage and relationship with Melissa because part of me is missing, there is proof that my daughter being absent in my life is painful, because I wouldn’t feel this way otherwise. I wouldn’t trade this feeling for anything though, because it’s this feeling that keeps me honest. It’s this feeling that keeps me following after Christ. I pray that those who have lost this feeling or deny this feeling within themselves, find it again.